Activities I have done so far apart from my baby these few days are very brief and kind of fun, considering the circumstances that it is winter and the mood is slightly lifeless because of the winter. Since the day I arrived, I the only time I feel Christmas or winter is when we were having a snow fight yesterday. Even though it was painful (because the snow is freaking cold), but it was truly fun. After snow fight last night we actually went Thai House for our dinner. Can you imagine Thai food (hot and spicy) after a snow fight? It's pretty cozy and pretty warm actually.
Anyway, I place this brief activities here in this post is very simple. I just hope that I can have the chance of playing snow with my baby girl one year, celebrating Christmas together hopefully (if my wish comes true it will be our first white Christmas together) and I want to hug her in my arms when we get ourselves indoor. The warmth! It's amazing. Imagine us hugging in the room when it's so cold, we can even hug each other near or at the balcony looking at the scenery filled with snow all around. It would be just amazing. After that, we can cook ourselves at home - wouldn't it be sweet and nice? Or maybe we can go out and eat Thai food. It would be warm and romantic with just the two of us now wouldn't it?
However, that is just a dream or an unrealistic wish currently. I hope I can earn enough to support my own spending here. And hopefully I'd have enough money and enough time to actually bring my baby girl around and do all the fun things during winter time such as skating, skiing, building snowman and some other that I have yet to tried. I also hope that by the time my baby girl come over I'd be as buff as Jacob from the New Moon and she can hug me tightly and stare into my built chest and six packed! =D But those are just dreams for now. Because the Union is still closed at this time, I have yet to get my student card and bus card that grants me the freedom to visit each and every corner of Lincoln City here in Nebraska!
Can't wait for tomorrow!~
Just a brief description of my current emotions here is USA. I am feeling bored! Is that brief enough? Anyway, the lifestyle here is freaking dull and colorless! I guess it's cause it's winter here and it's 2 feet high of snow on the ground everywhere that makes people kind of reluctant to travel around by foot. you hardly see anyone playing snow outside, except for people that just arrived here - LIKE ME! =D But seriously, it's freaking boring here.
I went countdown last night (to count the time in Nebraska, use Malaysia time minus off 2 hours and switch opposite the am/pm) and the countdown here is freaking boring. There weren't any fireworks here and the worst part is not many people yelling "Happy New Year!". Unlike in Malaysia, especially in Kuala Lumpur where people will gather together to countdown and watch fireworks. In Nebraska there is no such thing. Even so, the scenery here is mesmerizing. Plain white snow everywhere. Trees covered in snow, house covered in snow, grass dried off and covered in snow. Everywhere snow! And everywhere is white and slippery because of the snow. It's not easy to play with the snow because it is freaking cold even though I am wearing glove. Of course it is should be cold - it's ice! =D
Other than those there aren't many things to describe. The locals here are very friendly and nothing much to describe about. Last night, after countdown we (me and my friends) were walking back to our accommodation from downtown and I encounter something rather interesting. There was a fight outside of a bar. It was between the police and some bar security, I supposed? The security was telling to the policeman quite loudly saying that:"You pushed me straight without any warning." Then the police replied quite furiously saying that:"You were in the way, I don't care who is it, as long as you are in my way and you don't give I will shove pass you!" I didn't stick around to find out what happen next, but then it made me wonder. Does all authorities in USA behave that way or what? It's quite scary though the way that conversation went.
The cold weather here is making me feeling lonely when it's late at night. I miss those time where I can get to hug my baby to bed. It feels so much warmer and it's so much more cozy. Unlike now here in this cold weather I have to sleep alone in a sleeping bag. Even though I have sleeping bag to keep me warm, it will definitely be nicer to have someone in my arms hugging me tightly to bed and warming up my bed together with me. Waking up feeling cold and lonely is something that I never encounter before and it is making me feeling depressed. The weather, the society, the lifestyle, the scenery is so depressing - no wonder the rate of depression here is higher compared to Malaysia. This weather is making me tired and sleepy all the time. Without sunlight, I have no energy! Not to mention I have items here that reminds me of my baby girl. That makes life easier knowing I have someone there for me, but in the same way it makes life harder as I know I don't have that someone special here with me physically. It's a bit sickening, and depressing. But for that promise I shall make it through by hook or by crook! Anyway, this is something about USA. =D
Oh ya! Before I forget, Happy New Year! =D
This is going to be short and simple. I am posting this from Singapore (while I am on my way to USA). This is a joke my friend told me - do you know why women won't be as successful as men? Because women don't have any wives to advice them.
For this joke, I shall carve it deep into my soul. My baby girl will always be by my side and advice me, be my guidance when I am lost. You will always be the one and only love of my life!
" If you're in love with somebody, you will swim the stream, you will climb the mountain, you will slay the dragon "I dreamt of the first day we met, feel everything I was yearning for all along - heaven
Life hasn't been easy this past 2 months. Not at all!
I'm back from Australia and I will be leaving to the States on the 28th. My emotions are overwhelmed cause having LDR is already hard with only 2 hours of time difference between Malaysia and Austrlia, just imagine what would it be like when I'm in the States...... It'll be at least 16 hours time difference! When I'm sleeping she'll be awake, when I'm awake she'll be sleeping. I doubt there'll be any time for us to even talk to each other.
All couples have arguements, I'm sure. However, it's how couples overcome their issues is the miracle part. Seriously, love overcomes all obstacles with the help of compassion and desire. The desire to want to "own" our partner entirely. However, that is now possible just as how it is because we need to learn to give each other space. I just hope that when I'm in the States, other emotions will dwell our weak and vulnerable minds to do things we shouldn't do.
Being in a relationship is always sweet at first, blinded by all the good qualities we see in the person - but all these will change once we start to see the bad qualities of the person. But good or bad qualities, it's what make the person the way they are. I see you as my baby girl as you are! And I hope that I am the way I am in your eyes too - how much I love you.
Right now this is a post right after a morning arguement with her that I wished never would never have to repeat itself again in the near future. =D
Seeing is believing - I see how much you care for us and how much you love me - which is why I believe we will stay strong, no matter the distance between our physical body. Our heart and soul will remain together, as it is supposed to be.
I just realized I haven log in to check if there's any new post from my baby. Surprisingly, he actually written one months ago. The feeling is undescribable because I didn't have the chance to actually look into his heart until TODAY. The way he look at me, I knew that he has a lot to tell me but he just can't put into words. Although it may be annoying sometimes because he just won't express. Still, I love him a lot.
So why undescribable feelings?
He left me today.
He left me alone here by myself living with all the memories he gave me and all I can say is this feeling sucks. It sucks. It sucks!
Nope, he didn't break up with me and he never will. I send him off to airport just few hours ago. Back to Malaysia.
When I step in my room, everything I see - it's him.
I tasted the feeling today - the feeling of sending someone I love/care away. I feel so weak without him by my side. Still, I will be a strong baby for him!
The picture I always wanted to capture with him. Unfortunately, I fail to plan. Result? Last minute picture just before I send him off. Only got 3 nice ones. Sad.
p/s: I will never ever forget that scene. It's meaningful and beautiful.
It's been 16 days since the plane I boarded (D72702) landed on the place we all know as Australia. The thing is I haven't been able to spend much time with my baby even though I am here, but yet, I am still happy.
There's a quote that's fresh in my mind. It's from a movie that I watched together with my baby girl. It's quite a long quote so bear with me - "Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love never boastful, or conceded. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offence and it is not resentful." I guess that is why I guess by being here in Australia just next to her is making my day as happy as always.
Even if I am not next to her, I will still be able to feel her love to me. Because her love is like the wind that fills the air - I cannot see it but I can feel it.